Co-sleeping (still)

Despite our attempts to have Paolo sleep on his own, he is still in our bed. It seems that, in the battle of wills, he has won.  He pitches a fit when we go anywhere NEAR his crib and REFUSES to sleep. Yes, REFUSES to sleep in his crib.

(And we are not taking light fussing or 15 minutes of crying. He has declared ALL OUT WAR on his crib by SCREAMING at the top of his lungs.)

So, the Pack-N-Play is back up in our room, and sometimes Paolo will sleep in it. But mostly, he prefers to stay nestled between Giuseppe and I.

It’s not that I mind co-sleeping. In fact, I really like it.  Giuseppe and I both love having our little schnuggly man near us at night. And it is so much easier when Paolo fusses at night. I don’t have to get up and rock him and/or walk him around until he falls asleep. He just snuggles up and dozes right off….

But I just think that Paolo needs to know how to sleep in his own bed, especially at nap time.  Nap time is definitely safest in the crib, as he can’t roll out of it or crawl off…

I’m also reluctant to respond to Paolo’s battle cry when we are leaving for Italy in two weeks and then his world will be turned upside down for an entire month. Is it really worth the hassle and the trauma?  I may just give up completely until we get home and lay down new ground rules when we return.

Also, to be honest, as it turns out, I’m not the type of mamma who can let my baby cry it out. I’ve given this “sleep training” a solid week, and it is just not working. (Well, not a consecutive week.)  And it feels so wrong.  I spoke with my pediatrician about it and he said that I shouldn’t let Paolo cry it out until I feel emotionally ready.  (He joked that the real cure is to have baby #2 so that I don’t worry so much about Paolo.  But it’s a little bit early for that…) He also informed me that it is important to have Paolo in his own crib by the time his is 18 months old, or we will have a family bed until P is about five years old. Which means will still have a little time left to schnuggle.

Which is good news. At least for now.

4 Comments

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4 responses to “Co-sleeping (still)

  1. I don’t know what the answer is or if there is a cross the board answer to co-sleeping as each child is unique. I do know how different each of our three daughters were with their sleeping patterns. Our oldest and youngest slept in their crib. Our middle daughter would have nothing to do with it. We tried everything and she would continure to scream. She slept in our bed until she was 4 years old. Eventually we made a tiny bed next to our bed and slowly pulled it to the door and out of our room. Looking back I think it stressed us out more thinking we shouldn’t let her sleep in our bed because we were creating a bad habit. But now I think it was her personality and she couldn’t bare sleeping alone. She is an adult now and very independent.

  2. Oh Joan, thank you so much for sharing this story with me!

    I feel so torn sometimes. Sometimes I feel the same way, the we feel more stressed about the pressure of doing the right thing and making Paolo sleep in his crib already. But then, that is a very American thing to do, insisting that a 10-month-old be an independent sleeper. I am inclined to just let myself go the Italian route, with is much more attachment-based.

    And maybe Paolo is the same as your middle daughter; maybe he just can’t bear to sleep alone. We’ll see how the drama unfolds when we come home from Italia…..

  3. Don’t stress about it! Do what feels right for you. My last two pregnancies were pretty close together and I rushed my middle kid out of my bed. It turns out my little boy isn’t much of a snuggler and I wanted him to sleep with me and he didn’t want anything to do with it. Totally made me sad!

  4. You know, Poppy, some days I totally freak out about this (hence the post) and other days I’m totally zen. I think that we may just have to let him sleep with us until we have baby #2. It just doesn’t seem worth the stress. And I have heard that some babies just do prefer to sleep alone. Paolo, obviously, does not. But maybe the next babes will..!

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